I Am Kitten

kitten bounced playfully across the green, grassy, field. Its crystal blue eyes were intent on the butterfly, flitting through the cobalt sky, black, red and green. The kitten pounced, miniature, white claws grasping the butterfly. It sunk its teeth into the struggling insect, stilling it, forever. The kitten withdrew its teeth and claws, no longer pristine white, but stained with black.  Its crystal blue eyes darkened to the colour of midnight, the black of sin spread throughout its entire body, darkening it to the colour of soot. Its hair stood on end, it charged at me like a bull to a matador, blinded by its newfound rage. Once an innocent kitten, now a rage-filled monster, clawing at my legs, climbing up to my stomach, arms, neck and face, drawing rich, scarlet blood. The kitten's claws and teeth embedded in me, everything started to fade from my sight, the frenzied, black kitten the last thing to leave my narrowing field of vision.

I awoke, sweating with fear. What did it all mean? Why? Then it hit me, what I'd done, what HAD I done? Where was I? The grass around me was blood stained, and a putrid smell in the air. It all came back to me then. I hesitantly turned my head to the side, eyes closed, afraid and knowing of what I would see if I opened them. I forced myself to face reality, opening my eyes, millimeter by millimeter. I shrieked in fear, shame and remorse at what I saw.

His bloodied face was twisted in terror, eyes permanently staring out from the pallid mask of death. I now knew what I had done, well, I thought I knew, I didn't know if I was capable of the massacre I saw as I forced myself to rise to my aching feet. At my full height, and temporary calmness the smell truly hit me. Like nothing I had ever smelt before, it pained my nostrils as I inhaled. The bodies were everywhere, all much resembling the first, though the expressions of pain and sheer terror on their faces differed slightly from body to body. All still, like wax figures in a museum, pale, calm, moonlight shining upon them. How did it get to this? Why did I do it? "Why? Why me, why did you lose it?" I whispered, "You're a monster".

It was true, I WAS a monster. And I killed those innocent people, at least I thought I did, yeah, I was pretty sure I did. But why had I done such a heinous misdeed? I wondered, why did I do it? Had I been drinking too much? Or was a just a filthy low-life monster, even un-intoxicated? Yes, I was quite sure there was alcohol. I knew there was definitely alcohol there, it came back to me at that very moment, it was a party… AT THE PARK! I turned to find the swing set, and near vomited the little food in my stomach at the sight of it, once blue and yellow, now crimson. The body on the swing swayed in the breeze. The knife wounds still dripping blood, like homicidal art. So that was how I killed them, I thought, my knife. My blunted, painful, knife. Alcohol was no excuse for this, oh hell, it wasn't any form of lowly excuse anyway! All it did was brought out the real me.

I started to lose it, pacing frantically through the bodies, muttering to myself, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, what am I? Oh my god," I started to get louder "Oh my god! OH MY GOD! THIS IS WHAT I AM! I'M A MONSTER, A KILLER, A DISGRACE!" I collapsed into a pile of bodies, crying tears of frustration and anger. The smell no longer pained my nostrils, and as the hours passed as I hopelessly was flopped there, the ashen faces of the dead started to lose their sickening and shameful effect. This WAS who I am, I decided. This was how I was born, what I was born to be. Not a monster, a killer, or a disgrace, but a hunter.

At the very moment I accepted my identity, I noticed a light in the distance, scanning the footpath alongside the park. It veered more and more off the footpath, encroaching on my newly claimed territory. The light I presumed was a torch, and where there were torches, I assumed there were people. I watched as the golden beam of light got nearer and nearer the outmost bodies. It hit the pasty, lifeless face of a young woman, an ear piercing howl of fear and disgust shattered my recently discovered peace. I froze, deathly silent and still as the corpses around me. The shaft of gold neared me, jittering along its way, as the hand holding it was now trembling with abhorrence and alarm.

The beam hit my face, front on. I sprang deftly from my hands and knees like the animal I was. I was filled with a new and unexpected rage, violently rushing at the source of light. I grabbed frantically at the figure. I took hold of what I thought was an arm, I bit brutally into the soft flesh, lacerating it with my sharp, white, teeth, eventually reaching my victim's exposed neck. I withdrew, obsidian black blood wept onto my bare skin, staining it. The stain spread throughout my body; the black of sin, turning all of me the colour of midnight.

I am kitten.